You Drive Me Crazy
by smile1
Summary: Literati. -One Parter- Jess betrays Rory and it causes her to act like one of 'them' - it causes her to go crazy. -Reposted after accidentally deleting it- Please review? :-)


Disclaimer:I don't own the series Gilmore Girls or the original characters. All I own is my imagination and the plot.

A/N: Hey! :-) I realize that it has been a while since I have been 'seen' on fanfiction although, I'm sure that no one really noticed because there are a lot of great and excellent stories on this site. I also know that right now Literati's aren't as 'popular' as Trory's, but I still went ahead and wrote this anyway because for once I had the time and I just wanted to write! :-)

Bye, smile :-)

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You Drive Me Crazy

Jess walked through the glass sliding doors without looking up at the words above it. They had stood out clearly enough the first time he had gone to visit her; it had stung to see them the first time and he still carried the pain with him, pain that still caused him a few restless nights a week. At night, he would wake up gasping for his own breath and he would lie awake after, listening to his own rapid heartbeat as he fixed his gaze on the ceiling because he knew that if his concentration would falter just for a second, he would be drawn to the figure that was standing in the darkest corner of his room - a figure that he he knew wasn't actually there; it would always be a figment created by his imagination.

Eventually, his gaze would wander and glance at the figure - at her. She would be standing in the corner with her dark hair shading her eyes. She looked so shy and almost ashamed standing there; she looked so sad and familiar. All he wanted to do was get up, walk over to her, and brush her hair aside so he could look into those light blue pools of hope and apologize to her, ask her if she could forgive him for his past mistakes. But Jess never did go through with that thought; it would remain safely in his head because he knew that if he did go over to her and got the chance to peer down into her eyes, the look in them would be foreign to him, alien even. There would be a glow in her eyes he wouldn't recognize because of its confidence and absurdity; her eyes would reflect the insanity that they both had experienced and even the blue would deepen and turn into a more greenish shade, sometimes even ivy.

The girl he would see at night was both a stranger and a friend to him; she was his best friend still and had been so much more until he betrayed her, hurt her so deeply that she was mentally scarred. Jess kept that one thought in mind as he crossed the welcoming hall - a hall he had almost grown accustomed to; almost. The closer he got to the main nurse post the more that comfortable feeling faded and how could it not when he felt trapped and almost suffocated between these white sterile walls? The regular Thursday nurse was leaning against the desk, which was also a chilling white, and was blankly staring at a list in her hand while tapping her pen against the desk. When she heard footsteps approach, she glanced over the edge of her paperwork to look at Jess, a smile following instantly.

''Good afternoon, Mr. Mariano,'' she greeted cheerfully - too cheerfully for an institution like this.

Jess politely nodded at her. ''Afternoon, Rose. How are you?''

Rose stopped tapping her pencil and fixed her gaze intensely on his. ''You're not interested in that, you're interested in how she's doing.''

''I was being polite,'' Jess offered.

''Well, in that case, I'm fine. You?''

Jess threw her a look, letting her know that she should know better than to ask frivolous questions like that. After all, he came here for her.

Rose caught his look and placed the pencil behind her ear so she would have her hands free to push open the low swinging door that separated her from Jess. ''Shall we head over there then?''

Jess nodded. ''Lead the way.''

Rose reached within her pockets for a set of keys while she started to head him in the direction of the rooms, her shoes with rubber soles squeaking loudly on the tiles as she did so.

''How is she?''

Rose glanced at him over her shoulder. ''She seems to be getting better. Of course, it's a slow process, but her episodes are farther apart and not as severe as when she first got here and afterwards she isn't tired anymore, just apologetic.'' They stopped in front of a flawless white door. ''We believe she is improving,'' Rose said while reaching for the correct key. She placed the key in the lock and unlocked it. ''There we go.''

Rose opened the door and took a step back, inviting Jess to enter the room first. She followed.

Jess's eyes immediately found the girl that haunted his dreams day and night. She was standing in front of her bookcase which was already half filled with books - books he would bring every visit. Rory's back was facing them and she didn't turn around when they entered.

''Rory, Jess is here to see you, okay?''

Rory nodded, her neatly combed locks of hair shaking slightly. Rose shot Jess an encouraging look before leaving the room and locking the door behind her, leaving Jess and Rory alone. The silence that followed was deafening, but also one Jess was acquainted with after so many visits. He took a step forward and cleared his throat.

''Rory.''

Rory threw her hair back and looked at him over her shoulder shyly, while she slowly started to run her fingers across the books and when their eyes met he knew that the same memory was going through her head.

-x-Flashback-x-

Jess sighed and ran both his hands through his hair, his eyes never leaving Rory who was standing in front of his many bookcases, tracing her fingers from title to title in a leisurely pace.

''What are you doing here?'' he asked, trying to keep his voice from losing its patience. He knew that she was still fragile because his mistakes and how he had hurt her.

Rory shrugged at his question. ''I just came to browse through your book collection; I ran out of books to read.''

''You're not supposed to be here, you know that,'' he carefully pointed out.

''Why?!'' Rory asked, her voice snapping sharply while she tilted her head slightly to the right so she could look at him. ''You know you don't have to hide them from me anymore. I know, remember?''

''Rory, I.....''

Rory rolled her eyes. ''I didn't come to hear you apologize.'' She returned her gaze to the books in front of her, her eyes taking the time to wander across the titles she knew. ''I'm over that.''

''Then why are you here?'' Jess asked, while placing his hands in his pockets, wanting to seem casual and uncaring that she was in fact here, going through his books as if nothing had ever happened between them, but they both knew better. Jess could tell by her body language that it was still fresh on her mind - that his mistakes were long from forgotten or forgiven.

''I came for my reason,'' Rory answered with a shrug as she started to run her fingers over the books, slowly making her way over to the other side of the bookcase. She was aware of the many words the books held - the many words that could easily express the pain she was feeling, the humiliation, the jealousy, the anger..... Suddenly, she pulled back her hands, as if she had stung herself; she turned around and looked at him

''Why are you cheating on me?'' she asked while bringing her hands to her stomach and placing them flat upon it, her shirt revealing just an inch of bare skin as she did this.

''Rory,'' Jess started, keeping his gaze from slipping down by forcing himself to hold her eyes - eyes that were teasing him and trying to seduce him. He swallowed. ''we broke up a while ago.''

''Don't you love me?'' she asked, choosing to ignore his words. Rory started to bring her hands up, taking her time to tempt him even more until she had finally reached her heart. She lowered her eyes and ran her tongue over her bottom lip in a seductive manner before glancing at Jess again. ''What do they have that I don't?''

''Rory, don't,'' Jess pleaded as he took a step in her direction, only encouraging her because she did the same.

''What makes them special, better?''

Jess narrowed his eyes, realizing what was happening and taking a step back. ''Rory, please.....''

''Why are you backing away?'' Rory asked, her voice softening as if she was disappointed at his behavior. ''I can be just like her, like them.'' She started to approach him. ''I can show you''

Rory came to a stop directly in front of him and met his eyes before lowering them down to his chest, following her hands as they slid down to the lowest part of his abdomen. They came to a short rest before she moved them up to his chest again, her eyes trailing behind them. She placed her hands flat against his chest, her right one applying slight pressure on his heart, wanting to feel it beat. ''I can make you feel for me again, love me again.''

With one sudden and forceful push, Jess fell back onto the bed, Rory straddling him as soon as she got the chance.

''Rory, don't make me.....''

''Make you do what?'' she whispered, leveling her eyes with his, hers soon tracing that familiar road down to his abdomen. With one skillful move she pulled his shirt out of his pants and was about to slide the fabric up, but he stopped her by roughly grabbing both of her wrists. He pushed her to the side, causing her to fall onto her back and giving Jess the opportunity to straddle her and pin her hands tightly to her body.

''.....do this,'' he finished, the tone of his voice strained with hurt as he peered down into her eyes which had a flicker of something unknown in them, making her eyes seem green instead of blue, but that only lasted a few seconds.

''Jess.....'' Rory said, looking confused and almost scared. ''.....wh.....what are you..... we're not together.....why?''

Jess instantly let go of her hands and got off her in one swift movement, dropping himself on the bed next to her. He glanced at her as she supported herself on her elbows and pushed herself up into a sitting position.

''What did I..... did I....?'' She paused and sunk her teeth into her lower lip while turning her head to look at him. ''I didn't mean to.''

Jess took in the disorientation in her eyes and the innocence in her voice and nodded, knowing that this time he wouldn't be able to just let it slide.

''I know.''

-x-End of Flashback-x-

Jess had understood her behavior towards him; she had been jealous and that jealousy had developed into anger and rage over time. Every one of her episodes got worse with time - episodes where she had tried to act like one of the girls he had cheated on her with, hoping to get rid of some of the distance between them. He had never expected that he would ever cheat on Rory, but he did. Their relationship became too safe to him at one point and he needed the chase and the unpredictability. He fed on things like that - things that were new and exciting with girls he didn't know. Jess knew that it was no excuse and that his cheating had served as the main reason to Rory ending up in a place like this. He had never wanted to put her in that place, but after she had attacked him one night he didn't have a choice. Even Lorelai had agreed that it was the best decision they could make at that particular moment. The scratches on his body had faded slowly, but the pain that came with them was still there.

He forced himself to shake off the memory by pulling a book out of his back pocket, concentrating himself on something else.

''I brought you a book,'' he said while placing the book on the small steel table before sitting down himself.

At his words Rory turned around, curiously throwing a look in the direction of the book. ''Is it about romance?''

Jess shook his head, watching her closely.

''Good,'' Rory responded, smiling satisfyingly while walking over to the table. ''I've had enough of love and its happy endings. They're all made up lies anyway.'' She dropped herself down onto the chair across from Jess and looked at him. ''Besides, romance novels always make me think of love and that hurts right now because I'm alone..... I don't wanna get my hopes up and dream of things that I had, but will probably never have again.''

''You will,'' Jess reassured.

''Not with you,'' Rory said while lowering her eyes. ''I'm a freak.''

Jess reached out his hand, but hesitated when he realized what he was doing. He pulled back his hand almost instantly. Touching her right now wouldn't help things.

''You're not. You're getting better.''

''Good.'' Rory bit her lip for a few seconds before bringing her eyes up again. ''I never pictured myself like this, so jealous, so crazy.'' A smile appeared on her face. ''My mom always used to tell me that I was the most rational person she knew.'' Her smile disappeared - sooner than Jess had wanted. It disappeared at the thought of her mom and how she had let her down so. ''I'm sorry.''

''It's okay,'' Jess said.

Rory pulled one knee up to her chin, her eyes still at the same height as his. ''It's not. I know that, but something inside of me gets so mad at you.....''

''You're allowed to,'' Jess interrupted. ''What I did was wrong.''

''No.'' Rory shook her head. ''I did something wrong. I didn't satisfy you the way you wanted or expected me to. I just.....''

''No,'' he stated firmly. ''I should have waited.''

Rory nodded and lowered her eyes once more, not doing anything to escape the silence that was close to trapping them. Jess didn't say anything, either. They used the silence as an excuse. They both thought about what they had done wrong and thought about how things used to be between them, hoping that one day they would be the same; although, they were both too stubborn to admit that to each other.

''I should get going,'' Jess said after a while.

Rory nodded and watched him get up from his chair. ''Will I be able to go home soon?''

''Yes.''

''But not to you, right?'' she asked.

Jess hesitated before answering, taking a few more seconds than needed. ''No.''

Rory nodded. ''You'll come back though, to visit me?''

''Yeah. Bye, Rory.''

Jess turned around and headed over to the door. He pushed the button, knowing that it would take only seconds before it would open.

''I love you.''

Jess turned his head and looked at her. He didn't say anything for the door opened and he didn't know how to respond to that. With one awkward wave, he left the room, Rose locking the door behind him as soon as he did. He quickly started to walk, not wanting Rose to see the tears that had formed in his eyes. Ironically, she was driving him crazy.

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REVIEW! Please? :-) So thanks for taking the time to read this and thanks to _Alexia _for having so much patience; I really appreciate it! :-) I guess that it's kind of ironic that Rory's in a psychiatric institution when Jess is the one who cheated on her and caused her to react the way she did and I can't say anything, but that it made sense to me. I hope you at least thought it was slightly worth reading. Thanks :-)


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